adulting, advice, blog, help, journal, pleasing others, short story

Me, Myself and I

It may take two to tango; but making it to where I want to only requires three things:

Me, Myself and I

I’ve been told that making a blog would be difficult, time consuming and most likely won’t be successful because everyone is doing it.

Now, those first two doubtful remarks came to be true, I must admit; but I have already taken the first step necessary to dismantling the third: proving it wrong by ignoring it.

Sure, negativity and disbelief from those that you once thought were supportive of you and wouldn’t dare to speak illy of your attempt at doing something different can be a bit discouraging. However, the biggest hurdle I’ll ever have to jump over in achieving a goal that was deemed unachievable was choosing to ignore that opinion; and although I haven’t been met with overwhelming support since doing that, I’ve already made a stride in investing in myself by picking and choosing what will and will not influence my mindset.

Listen, I’m not a therapist, nor am I a life coach and I am definitely not the recommended chick to be the first to tell you when you’re supposed to be making choices. However, I am an individual — just like you — that has a list of goals to achieve, and some Negative Nancy’s behind me trying to throw me off. We’re always told to “ignore the haters”; and although I’m sure that saying has been made into 10,000 t-shirts and posters and are all sold exclusively at Claire’s — I say don’t ignore it. Instead, make it your fuel.

I’ve made a few mistakes in letting people decide things for me. I don’t mean just literal decision making; but emotional, mental and eventually physical — that is, i f you’ve let them engulf you that much already. At times, I’ve gotten so obsessed with what someone else’s opinion of me meant, so influenced by their lack of support or attention to what I was trying to achieve here, that I already became disengaged with the latter.

I concocted this image in my head that if this person doesn’t like me, I’m not going to like me. This subconscious self-loathing digs so deep and strikes your emotional cords so roughly, that this obsession of mine had now made me focus more on someone else‘s thought of me, rather my attention to the goals I was so pissed about them not supporting. This was their goal. Once you realize this game — this tug-of-war between loving yourself and your ideas, against one person who’s support was never yours to begin with — you can start to analyze their invalidations as their insecurities; and begin to dissolve yours.

There’s no greater feeling than proving someone wrong. The second greatest feeling is turning that narcissism into empathy for the individual that just wasted your time by consuming all of your energy — because you know you have the creative hand that they cannot even high-five themselves with.

We can start to feel sorry for them, maybe even regretful that they didn’t see your ideas fully or spark something in them to change their mind or involvement in your projects sooner; but instead we should feel empowered by their lack of belief in you or your goals — remember, the fuel? You’ve proven yourself capable of bulldozing the wall of insecurity they’ve subconsciously built for you; but know it was concreted with theirs.

I may make this blog about random anecdotes, my trips to New York and other inspirations that I find best translated in this format; but this is my format; and although I may not reach every audience, conquer every platform and satisfy every person, I know at least three people reading will be:

Me, Myself and I

…and you know, they always say that three’s a crowd.